Pinching at the door is the most memorable accident that I ever got when I was in the elementary school. It happened when I wanted to close the class’ door, and my friend pushed it from inside. Firstly, I didn’t realize if my middle finger was pinched because I really didn’t feel any pain. But, when I tried to pull my hand from the door’s holder, I saw my finger was splinted and bleeding. And then, I felt really in pain and cried after I saw it. After that, my mother took me to the hospital, and my middle finger was being checked by a doctor. When he cleaned the blood in my finger, he said that my middle finger must be sewed, but I refused it because I was really afraid about it. Then he didn’t do it, and I came home without any treatment for my finger. Finally, that accident was the most memorable accident that makes me feel traumatic if I saw someone playing or joking at the door.
Note:
^Topic Sentence: Pinching at the door is the most memorable accident that I ever got when I was in the elementary school.
^Topic: The most memorable accident.
^Controlling Idea: Pinching at the door.
^Concluding Sentence: Finally, that accident was the most memorable accident that makes me feel traumatic if I saw someone playing or joking at the door.
.jpg)
1 comments:
Do sorry to hear that:-) Well, it's clear and systematic description. U've tried to use the transition signal too to connect the sentences. U just still hev to pay a heed to the rule of using common and proper noun. Next, the choice of words and prepositions should also b considered. Apart from e'rything, ur paragraph is already well-developed.
Post a Comment